


Jam Bud Week 2020

by like_theletter



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Connie Being Too Flustered To Live, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dorks in Love, F/M, God i love them so much, Literal Sleeping Together, Lovingly Pushing Each Other Into Creeks, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleep Deprivation, Ukulele, kind of AU in that steven has definitely not ever been this open in the show, naps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-20 20:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/like_theletter/pseuds/like_theletter
Summary: Series of drabbles written for Jam Bud Week 2020!Monday 2/3: ExplorationTuesday 2/4: SingingWednesday 2/5 and Thursday 2/6: Contact, Sleep, Alone, TogetherConnie and Steven see each other for the first time in a while, but Connie can tell something is wrong.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 3
Kudos: 68





	1. Monday: Exploration

**Author's Note:**

> i am SO excited for this week!!! these prompts are all really good and of course i love writing connverse so pls enjoy these drabbles i love them

“Conn, that log definitely looks like it’s about to collapse. I wouldn’t-”

“Too late! You have healing powers!” Connie flashes a shit-eating grin and takes a few confident steps out onto the rotting wood. Steven winces from where he’s standing on the bank of the creek. “You can take the picture now!” Flipping back the ends of her fleece-lined jacket like a cape, Connie strikes a dramatic pose.

“Okay, but- not to be a killjoy- I feel obligated to point out that my healing powers won’t do shit if you get your clothes wet in the freezing creek.” Steven raises the camera and snaps a picture, unable to keep the smile off his face. “Just a thought.”

Connie straightens, a faux-thoughtful expression on her face. “Hm. Interesting. And have we tested that theory, Mr. Universe?” 

Steven snorts. “I’m afraid we have not, Ms. Maheswaran. Although…” He strides towards the riverbank. “It’s within the realm of possibility.”

“Steven, no,” Connie laughs, seeing him hesitantly place a foot on the log. “It’s literally rotting. It won’t hold both of- Ah!” She yelps as the log gives a violent creak, but otherwise stays put. 

Steven looks up at her with a triumphant smile. “See, I knew it would-”

The log snaps and sends them tumbling. Steven manages to grab Connie by the waist and has his bubble up in an instant. 

As they calmly float down the creek, safe and dry and cast in a rosy light, Steven and Connie stare at each other. And burst out laughing. 

“I- told you-” Connie wheezes, weakly hitting Steven’s knee. “I told you- it wouldn’t hold-”

“My reflexes!” Steven giggles, hands over his cheeks. “Healing powers- pfft- holy shit!”

-

As they finally wind down, Connie lies back and rests on the bottom of the bubble, putting her legs up on the side, enjoying the gentle sway of the creek carrying them. She tugs on Steven’s jacket to get him to lie beside her. “Do you think you can keep this up a little longer? It’s relaxing.”

Steven chuckles. “I kept this up for a whole day once. And that was in the harsh vacuum of space with someone actively trying to murder me, which was considerably higher-stakes.”

Connie shivers. She’s glad he can joke about it (she guesses) but she still hates to imagine Steven at 14, terrified, fighting for his life completely alone where he could die at any second. Stranded. In space. With only his bubble keeping him alive. 

When she doesn’t respond, he turns to look at her. He must see something on her face, because his brow furrows in that (way too) familiar self-hating way. “I’m sorry, that was in bad taste. Of course I’ll keep it up.” 

Connie doesn’t correct his apology like she usually would, just nuzzles further into his neck and clasps her hand with his. “I love you.”

She feels more than hears him say, “I love you too.”

-

Connie’s on the verge of sleep, with the warmth of her boyfriend beside her and the lull of the creek’s gentle rocking, when she realizes- “Shit. Steven, we’re floating away from the Dondai.”

Steven snuggles closer to her. “Mmm, it’s fine. I’ll just jump super high and see where it is.”

“Steven, we’re in a forest. And it’s nighttime.”

His eyes fly open. The bubble dissolves around them, sending them yelping and spluttering into the freezing water. 

(Steven’s not as fast this time.)


	2. Tuesday: Singing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday 2/4: Singing
> 
> Connie is very weak for Steven's ukulele and tries desperately to not confess her love for him on the spot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this might be my favorite fic i've ever written

Steven strikes a sour note on his ukulele and makes a face. Connie snaps out of the (lovesick) trance she’d been in listening to him play and watches him set his ukulele down, turning to face her. “That’s probably it for now. I can’t really think of anything else to play.” 

Connie has to admit, she should probably wrangle her brain into some kind of order. She has a 4.5 GPA and here she is, rendered speechless by a boy.  _ Not just any boy, though.  _ Because Steven looks  _ so _ pretty in the light of the setting sun and the beach is perfect and his voice is silky smooth and watching his fingers glide effortlessly across the strings is just  _ so _ \- “Didn’t you say you were working on something the other day?” She hears herself say, too quickly. Reign it in, Connie.

“Uh, yeah?”

“So… can I hear it?” 

“Oh, uh,” Steven does grab his ukulele, if a bit hesitantly. “It’s kind of… It’s, um, like…”

Connie winces mentally. “You don’t have to play it if you don’t want to.” Great, Connie, you made him uncomfortable. You are definitely being too forward. Scale it back. 

“No, hah,” Steven runs a hand through his hair. “It’s not that, it’s just that it’s a little, um… sadder? Than the stuff I usually play? I just don’t want you to be, like… to worr- or... ugh,” He strums all the strings open, frustrated. “This isn’t coming out right. You know what? I’ll just play it for you.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. It starts simple, just single strings plucked gently in a waltz time. “Down through the river, sticky with sunlight, weariness bury your bones,” his voice is soft and fragile, “Jewel in your future, carry your birthright, maybe you’ll call this place home.” 

Connie can’t help but stare. He’s so... beautiful. She watches his fingers dance across the strings like they were made for it, listens to his voice drip like honey on the chorus. “A thousand times it’s slipped beyond my mention, but my marble mind is struggling in contention with my livewire feelings, the films on a reel in my head.” Steven opens his eyes now, brown irises like liquid gold in the sunlight. He’s always had a way with words, but this… this is different. Connie feels her heart beating in time with the gentle plucking of his ukulele and wonders how she got so lucky, how one person can be so remarkable. 

“Connie?” Oh, right. Speaking.

Dazed, she only manages a weak “Uh-huh?”

“So…” Steven sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, looking away and setting his ukulele down. “What did you think?”

“I love you.” 

Shit.  _ Shit!!!  _ She had meant to say  _ I love it.  _ Three words. Two of them were even the same as what she actually said! Connie, you are so stupid, ohmygod, you lovestruck  _ idiot _ -

“I love you too, Connie.” He grins, easy as anything. And that’s that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering, yes, that is an actual song i wrote. there's more to it obviously
> 
> ALSO, just to clarify: the verse is in a waltz time signature but the chorus is in 4/4, meaning that when connie's heart was "beating in time with the music" her heart was not beating in 3/4 please do not worry it was beating normally and it was a very romantic moment


	3. Wednesday/Thursday: Contact, Sleep, Alone, Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I combined Wednesday and Thursday! Yay!
> 
> Steven and Connie see each other for the first time in a while, but Connie can tell something is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO THIS IS FOR WED/THURS AND IM POSTING IT ON FRIDAY I KNOW I K N O W I'M SORRY
> 
> in my defense i have rehearsal every day of the week now and i have homework and stuff BUT I SAID I WAS GOING TO DO THE FULL JAM BUD WEEK SO I'M GOING TO DO THAT >:O
> 
> i hope the fact that this is like four times as long as the other chapters makes up for it so pls enjoy

“Next Saturday?” 

“Nope. I’ve got three- or wait, no, Sunday is three- four Geminars that day because we’re buckling down to prep all the students for the new quarter, and Cherry Quartz wants to host a potluck so I have to track Lars down and make sure he’s on board and work out a date with them for that and that’s gonna take forever, and then I’ve got second quarter evaluations and I still have a couple communication etiquette tests Peridot asked me to grade because she and Lapis are taking the week off. I think that’s it.”

Connie nods, even though she knows Steven can’t see her over the phone. She flips through her own planner, as she imagines Steven is doing on the other end as well, and says, “Um, next time I’m free after that is… Tuesday after next?” 

“Let me see…” There’s a shuffling sound. Connie pictures him sitting at the kitchen counter, calendar lit by moonlight. Maybe his tongue’s sticking out a little from between his teeth like it used to when he was focusing really hard. “Well, I’m doing a guided tour of Little Homeschool in the morning and then the Kyanite colony is having a deficit,  _ again _ , so I have to meet with- uh, meet with White Diamond to rework their whole liquidated harvesting process. I’m, like,  _ this _ close to just moving the liquid processing gems to one of the Crystal System colonies- anyway. After that I’ve got tutoring sessions all night. But I’ve got, like, four hours between the meeting and the sessions. Wanna get an early dinner?”

She doesn’t miss the waver in his voice when mentioning White Diamond. She very much does  _ not _ miss it, but decides not to mention it. “Well, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, so…” A beat. “I’m just kidding. If I got any fonder of you I think my heart would explode.”

Steven giggles weakly on the other line. “You scared me there. But ditto, Connie, you big sap.”

“I just really miss you. And, wow, you’re busy. Are you… stressed, or anything?”

“Nope, I’m fine,” says Steven, definitely too quickly for Connie to believe it. 

Two and a half weeks later, Connie’s sitting on a blanket on the beach, sandwiches and snacks laid out, tapping her fingers on her knee. She brought a book, but Steven’s ten minutes late and not answering her calls and she’s wondering if he crashed his car. He’s stressed, what if he’s distracted thinking of other things, and it feels wrong to be reading when he might be dead. Breathe. Connie recognizes this thought spiral for what it is- irrational anxiety- but it doesn’t make it that much easier. 

She looks up and sees Steven sitting down at the table, casting a glance at her untouched book and her tense expression. “Hi. You okay?”

_ Woah, are  _ you _ okay?  _ is what she wants to ask, because the circles under his eyes are really dark and he’s moving all slowly like he hasn’t slept in days. But Connie knows Steven, and knows it takes a lot of coaxing to get him to share things he thinks will burden other people, and his well-being is very much the thing he keeps closest to his chest, so instead she says, “Yeah. Just thoughts. So what have you been up to?” 

Steven’s hands are shaking. “Oh, nothing. Just. Meetings and stuff.”

“You had to meet with White Diamond today, right?” asks Connie gently, glancing at Steven out of the corner of her eye while unwrapping her sandwich. “How did that go?”

“It went fine.” Steven grabs his food too, but it looks like it’s just to have something to do with his hands. “I actually do think I’ll move the liquid extractors to Crystal System E, because they’re really struggling with that in Kyanite. Flora production is going well, there, though.”

“Cool.” Connie takes a bite of her sandwich. Chews. Swallows. Gathers up the courage. “And, being around- being alone with White Diamond…” Steven goes still in the corner of her eye. “Is that… are you okay with that?”

“Yeah. It’s fine.” Steven picks at his sandwich, shoulders rigid, and Connie wishes he would give himself a break. “So, what about you? What’s going on in Connie-land?”

“Studying for SATs. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You haven’t been sleeping.”

A beat. Steven looks at the torn-up remains of his sandwich. “Let me just save this. Sorry. I’m not… really hungry right now.” He bubbles it and sends it off, hands quivering.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs. 

“Um,” says Steven, fiddling with his jacket sleeves. “I’ve been sleeping.”

“Steven.” Connie puts her food down and turns to face him, placing a hand on his knee. He won’t meet her eyes. “You can talk to me. You’re okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

Steven stares at her with a kind of fractured quality to his gaze, before breaking the eye contact and scrubbing at his face. “Sorry. You’re right, I’m sorry. I just-... I’ve been having nightmares again. You’re right, I haven’t been sleeping, and I’ve had, like, no appetite, but helping everyone get settled to life on Earth is more import- I mean, it comes first. I owe it to them after- I owe it to them.”

“Steven…” Connie lets the hurt in her chest seep out by hovering a hand over his hair, silently asking for permission. At his nod, she gently turns him so his head is in her lap, and cards her fingers through his curls. “You deserve to let yourself be taken care of. You deserve to be happy and healthy and- you don't have to put yourself in distressing situations. There are other options.”

He turns on his side and curls into himself. “I don’t know who else would meet with her,” Steven says, barely audible. 

“Even if you have to be around her, you don’t have to do it alone. Pearl would love to go with you, I’m sure. Or any of them, really- or all of them. You don’t have to be alone.”

“I don’t know if I can… explain it to them.” Connie pauses in brushing out his hair. Steven looks at the ground and continues in a whisper, “I didn’t exactly. Um. Tell them.”

“You didn’t tell them about…”

“Yeah.”

She stares at him. “Steven.”

“I know! I know, I should have told them,” he puts his hands over his face, “but I knew that if I did, there would be absolutely no chance of peace between them and the Diamonds. It would be a huge development we’d be missing out on. It would be so selfish to take that away from the Earth just because of  _ me _ and it doesn’t matter anyway because it’s over now, it’s been like two years and just because I’ve been getting some nightmares… I….”

“Is that why they started up again?” Connie asks gently. 

“I guess. Not all of them are of… but yeah, that makes sense.” 

Connie nods, scratching his scalp gently. She glances down and sees the wetness in Steven’s eyes. “Steven?”

“Do you think they’ll hate me?”

“Because you didn’t tell them?” Connie says, reaching down to wipe away a tear that slides down his temple. “Of course not. They could never hate you. They might be angry,” Steven’s breath hitches. “But it’s only because they’ll be angry at themselves. Not at you. Never at you, Steven.”

Steven presses his face into her thigh and Connie feels his shoulders shaking. She rubs circles into his back and wishes, violently, that she and Steven could just run away from everything that’s hurting them. She imagines a road trip- car snacks, shitty rest stops, bickering over music. They’d take shifts driving and stay the night in cheap motels and maybe there would only be one bed and Steven would insist on sleeping on the floor but then it gets cold and- life is not a fanfiction, Connie, chill. She leans over to press a kiss to Steven’s hair and says, “Do you want to come to my house?”

Steven sits up, flushed, and swipes at his cheeks. Connie notices that his eyelashes are clumping together with tears. He has long eyelashes. Very nice, pretty eyelashes. “Yeah,” his voice is still heavy, “If it’s not too much trouble.”

The drive to her house is silent and even though she’s supposed to be watching the road, Connie can’t help but sneak glances at Steven, slumped in the passenger seat. He stares out the window, eyebrows scrunched up, eyes still red from tears. At one point, he looks back at her and they make eye contact. He manages a half-smile and Connie feels the energy in the car relax, so she unlocks her phone and hands it to Steven. “Will you put on my Spotify playlist?” 

He looks down at the phone, then up at her. Steven hesitantly takes it. “Which one?”

“Melt Your Headaches.” Connie flicks her turn signal on. “You’ll like it.” 

Steven does, and if more tears slide down his face when listening to Ultimately, she pretends not to notice. 

Her parents aren’t home, so Connie drops Steven’s keys on the counter and takes him by the hand. Refusing to blush, she leads Steven up the stairs to her room, opens the door, points at the bed and says, “Sleep.”

Steven stares at her. 

Connie gently pushes him towards the bed, probably less gently than she would anyone else because if Steven didn’t want to, he could literally just set one foot down and no one could move him ever. She takes off his jacket and he lays down slowly, staring at her as if she’s going to yell at him. Connie feels a pang of sadness and curls around him, pulling the blanket up over them.

He’s so warm. Connie presses her forehead to his shoulder and feels it through his shirt. She wraps her arms around his middle and is very troubled to discover that he has, indeed, lost weight. _ He really  _ hasn’t _ been taking care of himself.  _

Connie buries her face in Steven’s shoulder and lets his warmth and the patter of the rain lull her to sleep. She hopes he has no nightmares. 


End file.
